Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Return to the Blogosphere, and my new name...

Yellow :) By which I mean “hello”. I actually wanted to say “Yo Dudes!” but I know my brother will tell me off for being “too American”.
Sorry, I’m full of endorphins. Why? Because I’ve finished my exams!!!! Kind of...I still have my prosection test/viva on Monday but it doesn’t count towards anything so, technically (and I like technicalities) I’m free!
Exams have been...awful. Sickening. Amusing, but only because when I can’t cry, I laugh. Also amusing in the sense that we got asked a twenty mark question on what ten questions you would ask a patient to work out if their illness was work related...yeah, odd. They’ve also been quite fun. At least, the OSCE (Objective Structured Clinical Exam) was. We were tested on measuring blood pressure, peak flow, examining visual fields and doing a neurological exam of the lower limb. What’s the one thing our GP tutor doesn’t properly teach us? Lower Limb. It wasn’t that bad though. We got told the day before what we would be examined on so I spent the afternoon/evening in the lower common room practicing on my friends. In the actual OSCE I got a few questions wrong, and the Babinski sign completely the wrong way round, but overall I actually really enjoyed it! It was fun. It made me feel like a real doctor and gave me a taste of what to look forward to!
I’ve had about 3 months of revision, late nights, early mornings so I’m ready to do absolutely nothing for as long as possible! We get our results on the 24th June so I can enjoy myself until then. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I’ll probably have at least one resit (don’t look at me like that, I’m telling the truth) but considering how ill I’ve been this year I’d say that was more than acceptable.
It’s actually been really interesting to see how my depression has...evolved over the last few months. My mind started off so fuzzy that nothing would go in, nothing would make sense and so there wasn’t really any point doing anything. But in the last 3 weeks or so everything has become so much clearer, almost sharper. I was going over a podcast from a Semester 1 lecture that I didn’t understand before and it made perfect sense. It was a case of “This is easy. Why didn’t you find this easy before?” It’s nice to see actual signs that I’m getting better :)
In other news:
I told my Dad about my depression. This was something that I was so afraid to do. I was convinced he would blow and go crazy at me the way he did when I didn’t tell him about my sigmoidoscopy (if you Google this please don’t judge – it was necessary at the time!). But the opportune moment came up. And he didn’t scream. He actually got really upset. He looked like he was about to cry. I think telling him has brought us closer. He’s realised that our relationship isn’t perfect but we’re both trying hard to make it better. We actually have conversations now when he rings (as opposed to just exchanging monosyllables like before) and he’s coming down at the weekend J Everything seems really good on that front.
My stepmother is having a girl :) Very excited!!! I get to be a big sister again. And my brother wanted it to be a girl, so all is good
I’m going to LONDON with some friends on the 10th June to see a show! Can’t wait!
Mum and I have tickets for Gardener’s World Live which I’m actually looking forward to *smiles sheepishly*
I’m crazy excited about Bristol next year. I can’t wait to have a year somewhere new where I can read and “find myself”, as corny as that sounds. I’m not quite sure just who I am any more, but I do know that I’m getting happier and stronger.

On a final note – a few people have wondered what to call me. On blogger my name is “A”, which is boring. I used to be the (Sometimes) Despondent Medic but I don’t want to go back to that. So I’ve thought long and hard about it and decided to give myself a fake name, something I can go by on the internet. Just to re-emphasise, this is not my actual name.
Good Luck to anyone who has exams :)

Sunday, 1 May 2011

The Royal Wedding, The NeverEnding Wedding and The Sneeze...

I’m a little disappointed. I just looked through my blog list and discovered that NO ONE has blogged about the Royal Wedding. I must be following the wrong people.
If you hate the Royal family, or are just a bit sick of all the wedding hype, feel free to skip this next section.
I love weddings. I also think I’m a Royalist but I’m not entirely sure. I don’t understand the difference between Republican, Left-Wing, Liberalist, Democratic etc but I do really, really like the Royal family. I don’t think they’re outdated. Well, some of them are. But I think the younger generation (ie William) have got their heads and hearts in the right place. They realise the power they’ve been given and they use it for good. I know they’re not superheroes and I know that really they’re just regular people with a special last name but I do think that they make a big difference to the charities they support.
I’m also a little old-fashioned. I think the Royal family is part of what makes Britain great. Or Britain Britain. They have history and legacy and they work wonders for our tourist industry. Without them Britain would just be another America, or France. The Royals help us to carve our little niche into the world and remain individuals, and stay unique.
I also realise most of what I just wrote didn’t make much sense, but I hope you got my drift.
I’m also a hopeless romantic. That’s not relevant for the “Royal” part, more for the “wedding” part. And so yes, I did get up early just so I could watch the ENTIRE BBC overage, which started at 8. And I squealed, multiple times. I tweeted, much to my mother’s amusement. I awwweeeed at
the dress

the bridesmaids and the page boys

I gossiped about what the guests were wearing.

I got a little emotional when they said the vows.

I compared the part when they left the Abbey with the final scene from Cinderella.

It drove my brother crazy, lots of you are probably tutting and shaking your heads, but I’m not embarrassed about it.

But what was most special, for me at least, was how happy everyone was. Not just the bride and groom but the country. It could have rained and I don’t think you would have seen anyone get upset. In the current climate, with the economic problems and the African Spring (as it will apparently be known) it’s nice just to have a day when everyone can come together and share in a couple’s joy. A little serotonin goes a long way. And I know that in a week or so, when everyone’s sick and tired of the updates and the coverage and pictures of “the kiss” (which was a bit of an anti-climax), we’ll all go back to being cynical about everything, like the children at the start of the Morrison’s advert. We’ll find fault in everything and we’ll moan about how many thousands of taxpayer’s money was spent on a wedding that we weren’t even invited to. But at least for a day or so we could collectively grin and embrace our inner romantics (yes, even the guys) and remember that despite the darkness and hardship in the world there are still moments of light and happiness and laughter. It doesn’t even have to be a Royal wedding, it can just be a wedding. Or a birth. Or the smile of a young child. Or the look on a grandmother’s face when her grandkids laugh and play in the corner. Or a picture of that bridesmaid’s disgruntled expression.

Ok, Royal wedding stuff over :D I should just leave it there but there are a few more updates on my life.

It was the final instalment of my cousin’s NeverEnding wedding. Let me bring you up to speed. He got engaged in April 2010. There was a big engagement party. The Islamic wedding ceremony (the Nikkah) was in June 2010 and then the Valeema (which is a big party attended by all the boy’s side (normally only the girl’s side goes to the Nikkah, apart from close family)) was in July. Each event involved loads of planning, and family arguments and coaches that would put the Royal minibuses to shame.  But despite all this they still weren’t married. They were Islamically married, but not legally married. In the eyes of the law they weren’t a married couple. If my cousin died his bride couldn’t get his pension.
I’ve seen registrars done on the day of the Valeema. Or the week before. Or after. I’ve been to weddings where EVERYTHING has been done in 2 days. The “problem” with this wedding is that it just kept going.
The registration was meant to be in November 2010. I’m not entirely sure why they were waiting that long in the first place. But then my aunty was hit by a truck and broke her hip so it had to be postponed.
But now it’s finally over. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every moment of it. It actually feels like there’s something missing from my life now. But it’ll also be nice not to have to worry about the next big do and all the related hassle, which is now even more complicated as my Dad’s not talking to his mum or sister anymore (the grandma and mum of the groom), but that’s a story for another time.

And now I’m back in Brum. And I’m ill. Again.  My exams are in 19 days. Actually, I have an assessed presentation next week so technically my exams start in 3 days. So I’m going to go revise. Or at least try to, considering I sneeze every time I move.

Good Luck to everyone who has exams in the next few months :D
Thank you to the internet (Google and BBC) for the photos