I don't know...

There’s something I want to say but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if I’m sad now, or happy. Maybe I’m stuck in the grey inbetween. I don’t know if the pain in my back and kidneys is real or if I’m tired because of something or nothing. I don’t know if I can push myself enough to make it through the next few weeks, or even if I do push myself if it will be enough. I don’t know if this tremor is real. I’m not even 100% certain that this is real. I don’t know if I can do this any more, or if I want to do this any more.

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

That is the refrain to which my life currently beats.  

Toodles,

Lexie