Finally had my psych referral appointment today. I had had one with the same team two years ago where they told me I wasn't serious enough to be under their care. I was petrified that that would happen again. It didn't, but I did have to go into detail about my story, which I was expecting. Normally doing this makes me quite emotional. Today was no exception. I didn't help that the consultant I saw is one who I've spoken to before in a medical-student-teacher capacity, and it was snowing so I was wet, and the appointment was part way through my first day at a new placement at the same hospital the appointment was in. Plus I think the doctor was Muslim and I had to explain some of the religious issues I've been having recently. He's got those eyes though, the ones where you can't tell if he's judging or not. Good eyes for a doctor to have. He was nice though.
The treatment plan isn't exactly what I wanted but at least I wasn't turned away this time, so that's something. To be honest, I'll try anything at the moment. I just don't want to feel like this any more. I can't remember what it's like to feel normal. What is normal? That's a whole other post.