So ages ago Rosie commented and said that I should post an update on my life. Ages ago. Since then most people have blogged at least twice. My most recent post was about the whole Kony thing and that was over a month ago. So, as requested...(warning, this may be quite long and very boring)
Revision Craziness and Exam Fever
There’s so much of it! Actually I shouldn’t complain. I was given an amazing opportunity to do this intercalation whilst externally resitting a module (cardiology) back at Birmingham, so I shouldn’t really complain. Most of the hols have seen with me trying to get my head around cardiac physiology, anatomy and pharmacology. Thankfully I’m been getting that beyond-amazing feeling when something clicks more and more often.
I’m scared shitless (excuse my French) that I’ll fail again. If I do fail then I’ll have to leave medicine and I probably won’t get credit for the intercalation either. But I was ill last year, and until that point I always got the highest grades. I can do this. Just need a little more faith!
The only problem is that I’m technically also doing the last year of a three year bachelor degree at the same time. I have 4000 words due on the 11th May (haven’t started writing yet, but I do have a few notes) and my 8000 word dissertation is due on May 25th (haven’t started writing yet, but there are a few more notes). The resit papers are on the 9th and 17th and I have a philosophy exam early June. Juggling the two utterly different disciplines is starting to take its toll, but hopefully I’ll get there.
I’ve decided to go back to Birmingham and do my third year. It wasn’t a whole hearted decision. It was more of an ‘I’m too scared to do anything else and deviate from my self-inflicted life path’ decision. I am scared about going back. Petrified actually. Mainly about it turning into the same debacle as last year. But then I remind myself that I was ill last year, really ill, and that coloured almost everything. When I go back I’ll be in a new flat with new people, starting a new year with a new class and one of my best friends will be up the road. Hopefully it won’t be as bad as I keep expecting it to be.
However I have whole-heartedly decided that I’m going to do a MA/PhD in Medical Humanities (specialising in Literature and Medicine) at some point and then maybe go down an academic/teaching route after I’ve qualified.
I came off the fluoxetine on the 1st January. Yey! I then went back on the fluoxetine round mid February. I lasted something like 46 days but it got as bad as it did the first time round. But it’s all right. Things have been up and down a lot recently, and my insomnia isn’t helping, but I’m in a good place. So that’s good :)
Shameless plug, but I blog about my depression over here if you want to know more. That will also be updated...soon... :P
Apparently I write poetry now. Who knew :P I’ve been writing dribs and drabs since the start of this academic year, lots about my depression and lots around a medical humanities theme. We have to submit a creative project for part of the dissertation and I’ve decided to submit a poetry portfolio. Of course a single poem wasn’t good enough lol. It is more work but I wanted something slightly more...significant to mark this year by. If I can pluck up the courage I may post a few under my real name on this blog in the near future. Be critical if I do!
That’s it. I'm going to go read something for my dissertation and possibly go to a poetry slam this evening. Good luck to everyone doing exams at the moment.
Lexie (or Sarah. Either or :) )