I've started writing poetry again.
Earlier in the month I wanted to blog about how I was drowning in beginnings, both in terms of my writing and the books I'm reading (and in life generally). I will probably still blog about it at some point, after I've fallen out of this little pool of bliss in which I'm currently floating.
On Thursday I told someone that I don't write poetry.
A while ago I thought about what a waste it was that I didn't write more during the bad times last year, and how I had somehow missed out on a way to document the experience.
I'm not sure if all these scenes are relevant to this but they seem oddly appropriate.
Whilst I was lamenting about drowning and trying (and failing) to write a blog post about it (I couldn't get past the beginning), I did things the old fashioned way and went back to pen and paper. And I scribbled. I wasn't allowed to cross anything out. I just wrote. I think one line even reads "Don't cross this out". It wasn't much, and it wasn't profound. A few lines were about this odd half dream I had had the night before where I purposefully jumped off a bridge, fully dressed, in the middle of winter. Not a happy thought, I'll give you that. But somehow those few lines became a poem.
I was listening to Sam Tsui sing "If I Die Young" on YouTube earlier (about 1am-ish because the insomnia is still there) and did the same - I just wrote lines on Word about how I keep getting scared at night. Somehow those lines became two poems.
They're not much. And they're not profound. But I'm oddly proud of them.
See, I reckon there are many different types of pride. When you write something technically good you are proud. When you write something raw that expresses precisely how you feel, you are proud. Personally, I prefer the latter. It's waaaay more fulfilling :). This is totally twee, but honesty is so much more admirable than profundity for profundity's sake, cause being honest IS kind of being profound... I'd like to punch myself in the face now, but you know what I'm getting at :).
ReplyDeleteKeep writing :). And if someone asks if you write poetry - say yes!
(Also, p.s., are you doing Prufrock at uni?!)
I lurrrrvvve poetry!!! I like that you 'lament' like I often do. People dont really 'lament' anymore, which is a shame. Poetry has to be spontaneous and it should flow, it has to be inspired and of course brimming with passion.
ReplyDeleteI wrote poems when I fell in love... and now that love is mine, I write very little. When we argue though, it all comes flooding back and I always send him the poem. So go write... bring back the poet in you, its a truly wonderful thing.
Rosie - I prefer the raw pride too :) It's deeper than the technical pride, like you said :) And yes, I know exactly what you're getting at :) Don't punch yourself!!
ReplyDeleteCause now I'm a poet and I know it? hehe, terrible joke.
I did Prufrock and Eliot at AS level but that quote about coffee spoons has always stuck :)
Aunty Em - I LOVE how you wrote poetry when you fell in love, and that you give him the poem when you argue. It sounds like a very special relationship and I'm happy for you, if that makes sense? I love lamenting :) And ergo-ing. And using other "pretentious" language that makes me sound educated lol. There's something so lyrical and mediaeval about lamenting that makes it a nicer word than "getting upset about".
:D
Hey this is so random but I was just thinking about your resits? Hows that going, are you taking your resit for cardio (is it) in January? Hows your iBAMH going?
ReplyDeleteMerry Xmas :-)
Hi :) The resit is in cardio but it's not till May. I intended to do revision for it throughout the year but I've been having so much fun with the iBAMH (which is going awesome!!! Loving every second of it :) ) that I haven't done that much. Still, I've got a bit of time left. :) Merry Christmas to you too :)
ReplyDeleteYeah you'll be fine! Good luck :) x
ReplyDelete